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“I want custody of my child.” As a Houston family law attorney, I hear this phrase at least once a week during consultations and strategy sessions. But what does “custody” actually mean in Texas? The answer might surprise you – and getting it right could make all the difference in your case.

Why Texas Doesn’t Use the Word “Custody”

Here’s something that catches many parents off guard: Texas family law doesn’t actually use the term “custody.” Instead, we use “conservatorship.” While other states might use conservatorship for guardianship matters, in Texas, conservatorship refers specifically to the rights and duties a person has regarding a child.

This distinction matters more than you might think. When you walk into a lawyer’s office or a courtroom saying “I want custody,” you need to be specific about what you’re actually requesting. Are you asking to make all decisions for your child? Do you want to determine where your child lives? Or are you talking about visitation time? Each of these involves different legal concepts and different strategies.

The Three Types of Conservatorship in Texas

1. Sole Managing Conservatorship

When a parent has sole managing conservatorship, they make all major decisions about the child’s life without input from the other parent. This includes:

• Primary residence decisions – where the child will live
• Medical decisions – including elective surgeries, psychiatric care, and medication choices
• Educational decisions – school selection, tutoring, and educational planning
• Legal decisions – representing the child in legal matters
• Financial management – handling the child’s money and assets

Sole conservatorship is less common because Texas family law starts with a presumption that both parents should be involved in their child’s life. Courts typically award sole conservatorship only when there are serious concerns about one parent’s ability to make decisions in the child’s best interest.

2. Joint Managing Conservatorship

Joint managing conservatorship is the starting point – what we call “ground zero” – in Texas family law. This means both parents share decision-making responsibilities, though this can look different depending on your specific situation.

There are several ways to structure joint conservatorship:

Joint Decision Making: Both parents must agree before any major decision is made. If you can’t agree, the decision doesn’t happen.

Independent Decision Making: Both parents have the power to make certain decisions independently. You can make medical decisions without consulting the other parent, and they can do the same.

Mixed Allocation: You can customize which decisions require joint agreement and which can be made independently. Maybe one parent handles educational decisions exclusively while medical decisions require both parents to agree.

The beauty of Texas family law is this flexibility. You can mix and match these approaches based on what works best for your family situation.

3. Possessory Conservatorship

This is what most people think of as “visitation.” Possessory conservatorship deals with time – when each parent has physical possession of the child.

Texas uses something called the Standard Possession Order as a starting point, which typically includes:

• Every other weekend (first, third, and fifth weekends of the month)
• Thursday evening visits during the week
• Holiday schedules
• Extended summer possession time

But here’s where Texas law really shines: you can customize this schedule to fit your family’s needs. If you’re a firefighter working 48-hour shifts, a nurse with 12-hour rotations, or work offshore with 20-days-on, 20-days-off schedules, we can create a possession schedule that actually works for your life.

The Big Fight: Who Gets to Be Primary?

Even in joint conservatorship arrangements, one parent usually becomes the “primary” conservator. This parent has the right to establish the child’s primary residence and typically receives child support from the other parent.

You can probably imagine why this becomes a major point of contention in many cases. Being designated as primary doesn’t just affect where your child lives – it directly impacts your financial obligations or benefits.

However, here’s something many parents don’t realize: you don’t have to designate a primary conservator if both parents agree. You can structure your arrangement so that both parents share rights equally, agree on which school district your child will attend, and even eliminate child support obligations entirely if both parties consent.

How Courts Decide Conservatorship Issues

If you end up in front of a judge – meaning mediation failed and you couldn’t reach an agreement – the court will focus entirely on one thing: the best interest of your child.

Judges consider several factors:

Your Child’s Needs: Does your child have medical conditions, require ongoing therapy, or have educational challenges that one parent is better equipped to handle?

Age and Maturity: A teenager can express their preferences much more clearly than a toddler.

Historical Parenting Patterns: Who has been getting your child ready for school, helping with homework, attending doctor visits, and handling day-to-day parenting responsibilities?

Parenting Abilities: How do you discipline? How do you handle stress? What’s your approach to your child’s emotional needs?

Stability Factors: Employment history, housing situation, support systems, and lifestyle considerations.

Any Safety Concerns: History of domestic violence, substance abuse, criminal activity, or other factors that might affect your child’s wellbeing.

Courts in Harris County, Fort Bend County, and Brazoria County typically require mediation before you can have a trial on conservatorship issues. This requirement exists because most cases do settle in mediation once parents have the chance to really talk through the issues with a professional mediator.

If your case goes to trial, it usually means there are significant complications – substance abuse issues, criminal history, safety concerns, or other complex factors that make agreement difficult.

Getting the Terminology Right Matters

When you use the correct legal terminology, several good things happen:

Better Communication: You can clearly express what you want to your attorney, to the judge, and potentially to the other parent during negotiations.

Realistic Goal Setting: Instead of asking for “full custody” when what you really want is to determine where your child goes to school, you can focus your efforts on the specific rights that matter most to you.

Active Participation: You’ll feel less like a victim in your own case and more like an informed participant who can make strategic decisions.

Efficient Legal Process: Your attorney can better serve you when they don’t have to spend time figuring out what you actually mean.

Common Misconceptions About Texas Conservatorship

“Joint conservatorship means 50/50 time”: Not necessarily. Joint conservatorship refers to decision-making rights, not possession time. You can be joint conservators with one parent having the child most of the time.

“The primary conservator makes all decisions”: Even primary conservators in joint arrangements typically share many decision-making responsibilities with the other parent.

“Fathers can’t get primary conservatorship”: Texas law is gender-neutral. Courts focus on the best interest of the child, not the gender of the parent.

“If I’m paying child support, I have fewer rights”: Child support and conservatorship rights are separate issues. The parent paying support can still be a joint conservator with significant decision-making authority.

Practical Steps for Your Conservatorship Case

Be Specific About Your Goals: Instead of saying “I want custody,” identify exactly which rights and responsibilities matter most to you.

Document Your Involvement: Keep records of your participation in your child’s life – school events, medical appointments, extracurricular activities.

Focus on Your Child’s Needs: Courts care most about what’s best for your child, not what’s most convenient for you.

Consider Mediation Seriously: Most cases settle in mediation, and you’ll have more control over the outcome than if a judge decides for you.

Think Long-Term: Your child’s needs will change as they grow. Consider how your arrangement might need to evolve over time.

When You Need Legal Help

Conservatorship cases can become complex quickly, especially when parents disagree about major issues or when there are safety concerns involved. While some parents successfully navigate simple agreed cases on their own, most benefit from having an experienced Houston family law attorney who can:

• Help you articulate your specific goals and priorities
• Identify potential issues you might not have considered
• Guide you through the mediation process
• Represent you effectively if your case goes to trial
• Draft comprehensive orders that protect your rights and your child’s interests

Moving Forward with Confidence

Whether you’re facing a divorce, modification of an existing order, or establishing conservatorship for the first time, knowing the correct terminology and legal concepts puts you in a much stronger position. You can advocate effectively for your child’s needs and your parental rights when you speak the same language as the legal system.

Remember, the goal isn’t to “win” against the other parent – it’s to create an arrangement that serves your child’s best interests while preserving both parents’ important roles in your child’s life whenever possible.

Family law cases can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face them alone. With the right information and proper legal guidance, you can work toward an outcome that protects what matters most: your child’s wellbeing and your relationship with them.

If you’re facing conservatorship issues in Houston, Harris County, Fort Bend County, or Brazoria County, the team at Alsandor Law Firm can help you work through these complex decisions. Contact us at https://alsandorlaw.com/ to schedule a consultation and discuss your specific situation.

Every family’s situation is unique, and this article provides general information about Texas law. For advice about your specific circumstances, consult with a qualified Texas family law attorney.